Sweet (Or Bleak) November

There's two sides to look at it, I'd say. On one side I'd say she likes me and she wants to go places with me. On the other side, she keeps bringing up all these other guys who she's dated which might lead me to believe it's nothing more than a fling. But if it's the former, I'm content to be one in a long line of courters. I'd do it for her intelligence and her beauty. And, more importantly, she's the only one I can actually talk to. And you know what I mean by talk. I can say whatever I want to say to her and I won't be ashamed or embarrassed because she'll always listen to what I have to say. It takes someone special, someone uniquely intelligent to be able to do that. One of the reasons my previous "relationship" (she says it never was a relationship) didn't work was because I never felt comfortable speaking straight up to her, looking at her and telling her what I think of her. That's a pretty damn cool thing that I can do.

I've been pretty busy recently, but I've had time to think believe it or not. I've thought about many things and haven't reached conclusions for all of them. For example: where do I want to go? It might seem simple in a literal sense, but thinking about it, life seems so complicated with the thousands of restrictions placed upon us by our society. That's why it's so difficult to be truly happy in society, a conclusion Thoreau reached 150 years ago. We can't all go live in the woods, and I agree with that, but what would be so bad if I were to live in woods?

That brings up another point: reaching an inconclusive decision: I never completely answered my own questions, instead leaving them to be resolved at another time. But is that a good thing? Will I forget about my resolutions and pass through life on a certain path never deviating from it, never stopping to consider my options? I doubt it. I've been thinking throughout this sweet November that, like the Spring flowers, someday I'll rise from the depths of the bleak midwinter to become something no one could have ever imagined.