Random

Chess tourney this weekend...should be fun
going to see hairspray the musical and eating dinner at the red eye grill on sunday. monday and tuesday, skiing. sounds good.

been really busy the past few weeks with work and the like, not fun but i can handle it. colleges have been knocking on the door which is a good sign, mean's they're interested in me which i like.

one thing i'm thinking about know is girls. i've basically completely blown it at school, any chance of anything with a certain someone is long gone (why with matt lf? though). and now all the girls i'm looking at and talking to are being taken by other guys. why? what have i not got that they have? arrogance. ambition. that's what it is. everyone is the school strives to acheive mediocracy, so when someone raises the bar, they can't handle it. they're afriad of the unknown, why can't one of them take that leap with me? i promise it'd be a good ride.
another thing, i'm a busy guy. i'm in four places at once during cp, and i don't really feel like devoting all this wasted mushy-mushy time to a relationship. you get in, love each other, then get out as far as i'm concerned. but there's no one again, who wants that. why not??? they're all clones like that, in my opinion. i've never truly loved yet, though i've come close- camp. but, i guess it's just one of those things that comes. or not.

i don't know it's just frustrating and drives me crazy. i know she likes me, but why doesn't she push it? or should i? i've tried to, but i've been so busy. we talk on the bus and email each other but besides that, nothing. just a smile in the hall. could mean everything, could mean nothing. that's for me to decide